Saturday, February 23, 2013

Go ahead and feel it

I will never understand why people in the diabetes online community judge one another. There are some that judge how others manage their child's diabetes...how they choose to handle the blood sugar checks, the foods they eat, the methods of delivering insulin that they choose. There are some that judge others on how often or how little they check blood sugars. There are judgements on how we as parents should feel...how it's not US living with the disease, so we should just stop whining and suck it up...it's our children living it! There are many out there who will stand in judgement of how a d parent expresses their emotions...their anger, their frustrations, the sadness, their overwhelming stressed out mind boggling raise the white flag in the air totally done with it feelings.
Why do people living the same life as us think that it's ok to do this? Why do they think it's ok to tell someone else how they should feel? Who has the right to tell anyone how they should or shouldn't feel? I think in everyday life...in the outside world...the one where people don't deal with diabetes....it's hard enough.........but for those of us that live in the diabetes world, shouldn't there be a little bit more of an understanding and an acceptance? Shouldn't there be a bit more of a realization that hey.....this life is friggin ridiculously stressful and hard....why don't we let everyone have the right to feel the way they feel and not chastise them for it?
I would think so. I would hope so. Then again, I tend to live in a naive dreamworld a lot of the time. I expect too much of people. I expect everyone to let everyone else feel how they need to feel. It's shocking to me that everyone else does not think that is a decent way of behaving.
If you are mad......feel it.
If you are sad....feel it.
If you are frustrated...feel it.
If you are pissed right off.....feel it.
If you are happy....feel it.
If you are proud....feel it.
If you are indifferent....feel it.
If you are numb...live in that numbness for as long as you need to!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you are feeling and what you are thinking and how your living and who you are being. You are you and you are allowed to feel however you need to feel in this moment of time. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Diabetes sucks. It's hard. It doesn't go away. We don't get a break. It is what it is. However your heart needs to feel to make it through this life and be at peace with who you are......then let it.
You are the only one who knows how it feels to be you.
Right now in this moment of time in my dreamworld....
I am tired...and a little sad because I had to tell a friend of Emma's that she needed to stop making a big deal about Emma having blood on her finger when she goes to check her blood sugar. I had to tell her to stop jumping away from Emma like she was going to catch something. It hurt my heart and it made me sad to see the look in Emma's eyes when this occurred.
It is what it is...and this is what I'm feeling right this second...and that's ok.

2 comments:

  1. It is ok, and neither you nor Emma should worry for a second what some judgmental jerk thinks. I don't care if both of your kids have the same medical issue, no one has walked the same mile in your shoes as you have. A lot of people pat themselves on the back for giving advice that wasn't needed or wanted, not because they were helpful but because it makes them feel smart, and that's selfish.

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  2. There have been so many situations in my life where the best advice I could take or give was to 'just feel how you are feeling when you feel it.' (miscarriages, death of a parent, job situations, etc)
    There is no right or wrong way to feel. You have to embrace the emotion as it hits you or you will explode.
    Feel it, my friend!!

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